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Review: The Mortal Instruments – City of Bones
The logo for the production company on the opening credits is a centaur and an angel. If these two creatures fucked, what would the resulting offspring look like? A hideous fucking mess, right? This...
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Review: Elysium
Director Neill Blomkamp’s debut feature, 2010’s District 9, started off by raising big questions about immigration and refugees, before taking a turn towards a more conventional action and sci-fi...
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Review: Rush
Rush tells the story of the battle for the 1976 Formula One Championship. I’m usually a bit skeptical when I hear something is “based on a true story” – these things tend to be pretty fucking loosely...
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Trailer: Seventh Son
“Our world is divided between light and darkness” Well that’s original. I wonder if there’s an ancient prophecy of a Chosen One who will rid the land of evil! So from what I can tell, seventh sons are...
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Review: White House Down
“Tell me you got some weapons in the Residence?” “We got some knives in the kitchen” “WHAT?” “They’re big knives” “Great, you can make me a sandwich” This is the second “Terrorists attack the White...
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Trailer: Jewtopia
So some Gentile lazily named Christian has it in mind that the ideal woman is a stereotypically domineering Jewish mother who will tell him what to do for the rest of his life. He meets Jennifer Love...
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Review: Komodo
From the writer of Anaconda, and the special effects creator of Jurassic Park comes this terrifying horror, where a plucky group of humans are hunted by the world’s biggest lizard – the Komodo Dragon....
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Trailer: The Hobbit – Desolation of Smaug
Well at least they’ve arrived at the fucking mountain this time. The first Hobbit movie was a smouldering turd, and this one promises more of the same. Yay! Orlando Bloom is back as Legolas, and he...
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Review: The Desolation of Smaug
The Hobbit 2 : This One Has a Dragon The opening shot of this movie is a flashback to The Shire (Hobbitland), where the first face we see is Peter Jackson appearing in cameo. This is entirely...
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Review: Pompeii
We open in Northern Britannia, which I guess just means Scotland. Roman commander Kiefer Sutherland, in funny accented, sneering pantomime villain mode (“Kill them all!”), is busy suppressing a local...
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